10 days into 2013

Hello sweeties,
how are you doing today? I am asking that in the most sincere way. Really, how are you feeling? I feel like right now there's a big divide between people feeling either extremely positive and motivated and the ones still hanging in that 'post Christmas omg what am I going to do with this new year filled with potential?' mood. I also think that one week into the new year is the moment resolutions are already given up on and we get down on ourselves for that. It sucks, I know.

I just came across an interview with Haylew Williams from Paramore which I found very honest and inspiring. Especially this quote of her's about the moment Paramore started 'falling apart' really stood out for me:

'...there were definitely days I would wake up and think it would be so easy to put up some sort of letter saying it's just too hard, we've had a good run, and go, like, get a job serving coffee or doing something normal. Maybe that would be less stressful. 

And then there were days that you would wake up and you would have a song in your head and know that there is purpose and there's freedom in being a musician and an artist, and you're really thankful.  Just like in everybody's life, there are ups and downs and there were doubtful moments, but there was something in the back of our minds that never let us give up.'

Numerous times, I too think of quitting. To just get a 'normal' job and just occasionly do a bit of art. It would be so much easier. No more deadlines, feeling like a sucky artist, others constantly criticizing you or having to 'compete' with a gazillion other artists. But yes, then there's that moment I create something I'm very proud of, or experience that wonderful calming effect working on art has on me and I feel very thankful and blessed and I know that deep down inside I shouldn't go easy on myself, and that I don't want to give up.

It all comes down to that little voice in the back of you mind telling you to push through. I know sometimes there's more than one voice, like the one telling you you're not good enough. But in the end they all want what's best for you. I feel like I cancelled out a lot of those other voices already, but that doesn't mean they don't come back every once in a while.

Keep going strong. Think of the brighter, warmer, blossoming days ahead and be grateful for all the little things. I really recommend making a little list on a daily list with all the things you're grateful for that day, no matter how small. Like today my list is:

♥ baking delicious muffins just for me
♥ incense
♥ The Princess Diaries
♥ painting my nails 

You matter, you are special and there are people who care about you. I believe love is most important in life, and everything else is inferior to it. Everything will turn out okay eventually. And then it will fall apart again. Once you accept that, life might just be a little bit lighter. :)