Thursday, June 5, 2014

Insta-life lately

It's summer!! Life has been nothing short of summery lately I do have to admit to I mostly just stay in with the doors open and paint, draw, read and write! Weekends are mostly spend outside though with bbq's, apple cider, music and friends. Despite last week being a series of unfortunate events, this week so far has been nothing short of greatness :)

I'm obsessed with browsing Rebel Circus, especially the Fashion and Inspiration pages. Every single thing is right up my alley and gives me so much inspiration!
June 2nd was my boyfriend's birthday and I finally got to give him my presents! He got his hands on one of the presents before I could give it to him, because it got in the mail and he thought it was something else he ordered himself. It was a vinyl of The Epoxies (check them out!!). Luckily that wasn't all I got him! He was very pleased with the little painting I made (I was nervous about giving it to him since I wasn't super happy with it) and also very happy with the Bioshock artbook and 2 bioshock vinyl decals of Fink mfg.
Two bands I've been listening to non-stop are the HorrorPops and Mad Caddies! All their albums are amazing, but especially this song and this song have been stuck in my head all the time.
Lately my glasses have felt more like a burden than ever before, I just want to get contacts! It probably won't happen until after the summer, but I'm determined to get them eventually.
The tea I've been sipping on is Snow Geisha white tea from Teavana.. how appropiate for summer
Slowly but surely I'm getting the hang of vintage/pin up hairstyles. So nice to have my hair out of my face :)
Whenever I need to take my mind off of worries and negative thoughts, I watch videos Cherry Dollface's channel. I'd been following her for some time now, but only recently re-discovered her. So glad I did!
Have you ever had an Oh Henry! bar? Because they're amazing.
For some reason I'm obsessed with this fake cupcake. It's basically what I strive to be as a person
Coming across really old pictures you thought were lost forever is the most awesome (and slightly emberassing) thing ever.
Did you know pink spiders exist?
I hope you're having a great day. Go get a strawberry milkshake and enjoy the sun!

Thursday, May 29, 2014

How to deal with Anxiety

I was always the quiet, shy kid. I could spend hours playing by myself, crafting, drawing, going on 'adventures'. It wasn't considered as much of a big deal. As I grew older though, I felt more and more strange about me being so completely fine by myself and not feeling the need to talk and interact much. I felt an increasing pressure to be more outgoing which I think eventually really triggered my anxiety issues. In short: growing up sucks. As a little kid you can be as strange and unusual as you want and it's generally no big deal, but as an 'adult' things are expected of you, you have to act 'mature' and start caring more and more about what others think of you and your decisions. 

But I digress.. this post is all about tips and tricks on how to tackle anxiety that I've learned over the years through reading articles, watching youtubers with similar problems and personal experience. I hope they can be useful to some of you beautiful peopel!

1. Look around you!
Whenever an anxiety attack strikes me, I have the tendency to look down and turn into myself, but this will only make things worse! Instead, try to look up and just observe everything around you. Are your surroundings really that threatening? Listen to the music that is playing, look at the people that are really not looking at/judging you (trust me!) or feel the delightful sun on your face and just breathe. Maybe take a second to sit down and obeserve and then carry on. 

2. Pilates, Yoga and Meditation
Ever since I started doing these, I have definitely become more calm and aware of myself and my body. I've never been big on exercise, because it was always about competition and being better than someone else. With these practises however, it's all about your own journey and setting your own goals. Pilates and Yoga helped me better my posture and feel more confident and meditation helped me tackle anxiety attacks and stress in general. It can be as simple as just focusing on your breathing for a few minutes. Whenever everything gets a little too much for me, I just excuse myself and do some meditating in the washroom or whatever quiet place I can find. 
3. Tea!
Tea cleanses the body and the warmth relaxes it. There are a gazillion types of tea, each with their own special benefits. My favorite is plain green tea, but other great relaxing teas are chamomile, lavender, valerian or passionflower and if you have the luxury of a bath, then take a bath with your favorite bubbles while sipping your tea. Double the warmth!  
4. Know your patterns
Sometimes anxiety can just hit you out of nowhere, but you can probably also think of scenarios where an attack will be inevitable. Me for example, I get huge anxiety when I have to go out by myself, and usually spend about half an hour looking into the mirror to check if I look good enough for the outside world and saying encouraging things to myself. I also get anxiety when I have to make a phonecall or I have to pick up the phone,  or when I'm suddenly around a lot of people.
The trick is to find out these anxiety scenarios for yourself, think of what your brains does at that time, and turn those thoughts around. JUST DO IT is my 'mantra' right now, which includes not thinking too much and just jumping into whatever 'danger' is ahead. You will (most likely) survive ;)  
5. Talk
I've never been a big talker, especially not when it comes to all the thoughts swirling through my mind. I would just seclude myself and deal with it on my own. Since about a year though, I've been opening up more and told people about my anxiety issues and other troubles on my mind, and it's such a relief! Everyone is always very understanding and some even share their anxiety experiences with me which in turn makes me feel less alone and weird (and anyone who doesn't understand or thinks it's stupid doesn't deserve your time anyway). So whenever you're having an attack and whoever you're with looks at you questionly, just tell them what's up! Or go to a therapist, they're here to help you! 
6. Alter Ego
Think of your favorite kick ass lady from that one movie, or that awesome girl from youtube you watch every day, or the protagonist of the comic you just read and BE HER.Coming up with 'famous' alter ego's has helped me immensely. In case of emergency, I can just be a classy Dita von Teese, Caroline Wexler from Daydream Nation or Faye Valentine from Cowboy Bebop. Be anyone you want to be! 
7. Just live through it
Sometimes, there's just nothing you can do. That's just how it works. Those moments seem to last FOREVER, but really, it's only a few hours (if not less) of your entire lifetime (and what's a few hours in 100 years, right?). Good days are soon to come again, no worries :)

Do you have any tips for me? Please share!

Friday, May 23, 2014

Bioshock tattoo progress

A little update on the progress of the Bioshock tattoo design I've been working on! It's been a lot (but fun) work so far, and I have quite a bit more ahead of me. At least the basic design is almost done, and my boyfriend is loving it so far!

Here's a look at my progress. I started with a rough sketch of where I wanted everything, and from there it was basically fine tuning all the elements that I thought were in the right place and adding stuff to fill it up and balance everything out. More than once the proportions were a disaster and I had to draw the same thing a few times over (The Songbird, Big Daddy and Little Sister for example..), but everything MUST be exactly right, especially since it's a tattoo design! You don't want to be walking around with a wonky looking character!

(click to enlarge)

And this is what it looks like right now! The paper got so dirty :P I have to work on some more details and then it's time for the linework, which I dread. I'm not the greatest at outlines and I'm still not sure how I'll transfer everything/what I will do the linework on. Kinda don't want to mess up the original.
On kind of a related note.. The other day we were playing around with paint with some friends and I started to freestyle paint a Murder of Crows tattoo on my boyfriend's arm! You can find it on the right in the tattoo design. I think it turned out pretty good :) and it made me all the more excited to (hopefully) see the actual tattoo on his arm someday!

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

How getting ice cream is the reason why I'm not here.

(find sources here)
Forever in love with pink, pretty lips and nails, words of wisdom, cuddles, food themed accessories and art...

Ever since I started living in Canada with my boyfriend, I feel like I really started to live my life. My evenings and weekends aren't spend sulking around in my room anymore. These days we go out and meet up with friends, go to concerts, have a bbq, have spontaneous soccer games or go and get ice cream! It's an amazing change which also really helped me to challenge and (mostly) overcome my anxiety issues, but it's not as good for my blog! I guess right now I just put my energy in so many other things that there's hardly any left for the internets D: I guess it's a good thing that I'm not a huge online personality so I won't get hate mail about being absent lately. Hopefully I can get my camera fixed/get a new one veryvery soon, since taking pictures always inspired me for blogposts. My phone camera just doesn't do it for me for some reason.. Anyway, I'm sure I'll get back into the swing of things sometime soon!

I hope everyone is doing great and is excited that the sun is finally coming out more!! Or if you are in Australia, that it's cooling down a little bit? Now get out and enjoy life and keep looking at all the beautiful things surrounding you n.n

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Thankful for bubblegum and 90's music!

Last Sunday I saw a meteorite and I was honestly waiting for the world to explode. But I'm still alive and well! Feeling a bit 'meh' today. I've been feeling sick for a good few days now, but not too sick to stay in bed all day. It might just be hay fever or something (sore throat, irritated eyes..), but whenever I feel like this I like making a big gratitude list :) Despite not feeling 100% amazing, I've had some great days with great people (which is also why my blog has been a little neglected..). The weeks are flying by, something fun is happening every week (Flatliners concert this Thursday!! ) AND summer is still not here.. will it ever come??

Getting a delicious tuna melt with bbq sauce for dinner at Johnny Rockets  Marathoning Game of Thrones  trying the 'secret' banana split blizzard at Dairy Queen (vanilla ice cream with banana split toppings mixed in, yum!)  brunch at Panera Bread  going on a teahunt  dancing on a Friday night until I could hardly stand on my feet anymore  sleeping in the next day and doing absolutely nothing  watching hockey (I'm actually really getting into it! Go Bruins!)  hubba bubba bubblegum kisses  seeing a meteorite in the sky  working hard on the Bioshock tattoo  peanut butter rolo ice cream.. omg.  being a champion at beer pong  90's dance music  drawing on an extra dramatic cat eye for extra fierceness  doing more meditation and relaxating yoga (and feeling amazing afterwards) - receiving a cute tropical flavoured Hello Kitty lipbalm from Maria :)  watermelon and strawberries  the stargazing app on my phone  Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey daydreaming about summer  my dad and his crazy bicycle adventures...

Friday, April 25, 2014

45 things you (probably) don't know about me

45 things you (probably) don't know about me

1. I had a black rabbit named Snoopie as a kid. I would take her with me every holiday and walk around the campsite with her on a lease
2. I used to be (and still kind of am) terrified of doing a forward roll (let alone a backward one!)
3. Someone once seriously asked me if my natural hair colour is pink
4. I'm naturally a red head
5. My hands and feet are ALWAYS cold
6. When I go out for lunch and they have tuna sandwiches, that's what I'll order. It's my mission to try every tuna sandwich there is.
7. I used to hate pink until about 3 years ago
8. Same counts for Hello Kitty
9. I basically eat anything, except for liver
10. I used to take horse riding lessons until one day I got kicked in the shin. I really want to ride again though.
11. I've never watched The Godfather and I'm too ashamed to tell anyone
12. As a kid I once stole a single earring with a (fake) diamond on it from a store. I felt so badass
13. I used to win a lot of colouring contests
14. So far my career choices have been: veterinarian, 'something with horses', writer, tattoo artist and illustrator.
15. I used to play piano, but I never got really good at it
16. I can't work with a mac. I tried countless of times, but it's just not happening. PC forever.
17. When we went on holiday to the Caribbean I got my entire hair braided and it hurt SO BAD. Both getting it done and taking it out.
18. I can't (under)stand people who 'aren't dessert people'
19. I also can't stand people who don't finish their plate or eat very slow
20. When I was about 10 years old I won a book writing + illustrating contest with a story about a dog that dies of cancer and leaves behind a sad little puppy. I still don't know how I ever came up with that story.
21. I can't go a day without eating bread
22. I love doing the dishes
23. When people tell me they don't like to eat a specific something, I take that as a challenge. Like, I will 'hide' the disliked ingredient in the dish, or make something vegetarian for a meat lover and not tell them there's no meat in it. Usually people love what I cooked them and I take a lot of joy telling them my secret afterwards :P
24. I liked the world better when it didn't have smartphones
25. I'm pretty shy, but when I have to act out something or someone I go all out!
26. My favorite alcoholic drink is a dirty Somersby, which is apple cider with blueberry vodka
27. I used to be a horrible nail biter (so bad that it made people cringe), until one day, I just stopped. Now I can't imagine doing it anymore
28. The year I turned 11, I was extremely upset when I didn't receive a letter of acceptance from Hogwarts.
29. I used to write fanfiction about Frank and Gerard from My Chemical Romance
30. I talk (and apparently also giggle?) in my sleep. I can also get pretty violent (kick or slap you in the face :P)
31. I grew up on an island
32. My favorite Disney movie is Beauty and the Beast
33. I know how to do Reiki. When I was young I had some classes and I kept doing it a little bit ever since. I like to believe it really does work, if even just a little bit.
34. I'm already an aunt 7 times!
35. When I was in middle school people teased me by calling me a lighthouse (since I was so much taller than everyone else and had red hair) and I remember it used to really upset me.
36. The only part of my body I've ever broken is my arm. By falling off of my bike (oh Dutch people and their bicycles..)
37. I only own 3 pairs of socks
38. and only one pair of pants
39. I've never had a nickname. It's always been just Sarah (or Saar for my Dutch family and friends)
40. 90% of the books I read are from the 'young adult' section
42. I have the greatest fear of 'bumping' into a jellyfish whenever I go swimming in the sea. Sometimes I'm brave and go in anyway, but usually... no.
43. I apologize to everything I run into. Chairs, cats, plants.. everything.
44. If the shower sucks, I am not a happy person
45. I am actually a ninja.

picture sources: 1, 2, 3, 4

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

I Will Love You

Today, all I want to share with you all is this beautiful piece of writing by one of my all time favourite authors: Lemony Snicket. The last part made me tear up a little bit.

Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope.
I will love you with no regard to the actions of our enemies or the jealousies of actors. I will love you with no regard to the outrage of certain parents or the boredom of certain friends. I will love you no matter what is served in the world’s cafeterias or what game is played at each and every recess. I will love you no matter how many fire drills we are all forced to endure, and no matter what is drawn upon the blackboard in a blurring, boring chalk. I will love you no matter how many mistakes I make when trying to reduce fractions, and no matter how difficult it is to memorize the periodic table. I will love you no matter what your locker combination was, or how you decided to spend your time during study hall. I will love you no matter how your soccer team performed in the tournament or how many stains I received on my cheerleading uniform. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you if you cut your hair and I will love you if you cut the hair of others. I will love you if you abandon your baticeering, and I will love you if you retire from the theater to take up some other, less dangerous occupation. I will love you if you drop your raincoat on the floor instead of hanging it up and I will love you if you betray your father. I will love you even if you announce that the poetry of Edgar Guest is the best in the world and even if you announce that the work of Zilpha Keatley Snyder is unbearably tedious. I will love you if you abandon the theremin and take up the harmonica and I will love you if you donate your marmosets to the zoo and your tree frogs to M. I will love you as the starfish loves a coral reef and as kudzu loves trees, even if the oceans turn to sawdust and the trees fall in the forest without anyone around to hear them. I will love you as the pesto loves the fetuccini and as the horseradish loves the miyagi, as the tempura loves the ikura and the pepperoni loves the pizza. I will love you as the manatee loves the head of lettuce and as the dark spot loves the leopard, as the leech loves the ankle of a wader and as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you as the doctor loves his sickest patient and a lake loves its thirstiest swimmer. I will love you as the beard loves the chin, and the crumbs love the beard, and the damp napkin loves the crumbs, and the precious document loves the dampness in the napkin, and the squinting eye of the reader loves the smudged print of the document, and the tears of sadness love the squinting eye as it misreads what is written. I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat, and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms. I will love you as a child loves to overhear the conversations of its parents, and the parents love the sound of their own arguing voices, and as the pen loves to write down the words these voices utter in a notebook for safekeeping. I will love you as a shingle loves falling off a house on a windy day and striking a grumpy person across the chin, and as an oven loves malfunctioning in the middle of roasting a turkey. I will love you as an airplane loves to fall from a clear blue sky and as an escalator loves to entangle expensive scarves in its mechanisms. I will love you as a wet paper towel loves to be crumpled into a ball and thrown at a bathroom ceiling and an eraser loves to leave dust in the hairdos of the people who talk too much. I will love you as a cufflink loves to drop from its shirt and explore the party for itself and as a pair of white gloves loves to slip delicately into the punchbowl. I will love you as a taxi loves the muddy splash of a puddle and as a library loves the patient tick of a clock. I will love you as a thief loves a gallery and as a crow loves a murder, as a cloud loves bats and as a range loves braes. I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong. I will love you as a battlefield loves young men and as peppermints love your allergies, and I will love you as the banana peel loves the shoe of a man who was just struck by a shingle falling off a house. I will love you as a volunteer fire department loves rushing into burning buildings and as burning buildings love to chase them back out, and as a parachute loves to leave a blimp and as a blimp operator loves to chase after it. I will love you as a dagger loves a certain person’s back, and as a certain person loves to wear daggerproof tunics, and as a daggerproof tunic loves to go to a certain dry cleaning facility, and how a certain employee of a dry cleaning facility loves to stay up late with a pair of binoculars, watching a dagger factory for hours in the hopes of catching a burglar, and as a burglar loves sneaking up behind people with binoculars, suddenly realizing that she has left her dagger at home. I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp, and as a gasping person loves a glass of brandy to calm their nerves, and as a glass of brandy loves to shatter on the floor, and as the noise of glass shattering loves to make someone else gasp, and as someone else gasping loves a nearby desk to lean against, even if leaning against it presses a lever that loves to open a drawer and reveal a secret compartment. I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and until all the secrets have gone gasping into the world. I will love you until all the codes and hearts have been broken and until every anagram and egg has been unscrambled. I will love you until every fire is extinguished and until every home is rebuilt form the handsomest and most susceptible of woods, and until every criminal is handcuffed by the laziest of policemen. I will love you until M. hates snakes and J. hates grammar, and I will love you until C. realizes S. is not worthy of his love and N. realizes he is not worthy of the V. I will love you until the bird hates a nest and the worm hates an apple, and until the apple hates a tree and the tree hates a nest, and until a bird hates a tree and an apple hates a nest, although honestly I cannot imagine that last occurrence no matter how hard I try. I will love you as we grow older, which has just happened, and has happened again, and happened several days ago, continuously, and then several years before that, and will continue to happen as the spinning hands of every clock and the flipping pages of every calendar mark the passage of time, except for the clocks that people have forgotten to wind and the calendars that people have forgotten to place in a highly visible area. I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close that we could slip the curved straw, and the long, slender spoon, between our lips and fingers respectively. I will love you until the chances of us running into one another slip from skim to zero, and until your face is fogged by distant memory, and your memory faced by distant fog, and your fog memorized by a distant face, and your distance distanced by the memorized memory of a foggy fog. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, no matter where you avoid and who you don’t see, and no matter who sees you avoiding where you go. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this, and no matter how I am discovered after what happens to me happens to me as I am discovering this. I will love you if you don’t marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else – your co-star, perhaps, or Y., or even O., or anyone Z. through A., even R. although sadly I believe it will be quite some time before two women can be allowed to marry – and I will love you if you have a child, and I will love you if you have two children, or three children, or even more, although I personally think three is plenty, and I will love you if you never marry at all, and never have children, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all, and I must say that on late, cold nights I prefer this scenario out of all the scenarios I have mentioned. That, Beatrice, is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way.

- The Full “I Will Love You.” Letter. The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket

Friday, April 11, 2014

Current Loves: Spring is Here! ♥

Avocado toast Playing pool for the first time Finishing all of MTV'S The Challenge seasons AND starting the new season: Free Agents! Finally receiving the photoalbum I made with pictures of the boyfriend and I and our wild adventures during the holidays Blue frootloops starting a new blogilates calendar Dove Purely Pampering Pistachio cream with Magnolia body wash Watching a new Shameless episode under a soft pink blanket + eating ice cream Yummy salad for lunch Painting and/or drawing something everyday Starting to use Instagram again Going for walks around the neighbourhood without having to wear a coat Frozen Yogurt at nomnom's! Cake batter with nuts + Reese's pieces morning cuddles hanging out with friends getting tickets for concerts and festivals!  the fact that it's Friday!

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Art Post: Bioshock Tattoo

As I mentioned in a previous post, I'm currently working on a Bioshock tattoo design. My boyfriend is a huge fan of the game and wants to get a full sleeve, so he challenged me to come up with a design! I have no idea if it's going to work out since I'm not very experienced when it comes to tattoo design, but it gives me a nice project to work on and also gives me a good reason to dive into this game and get to know its fascinating story, characters and artwork!

I don't know if anyone is interested, but I thought it would be nice to show you guys a bit of my process so far since it's been a while since I did art posts like this.
This is a statue from the Songbird. I helped my boyfriend get it as a graduation gift as he'd been obsessing over it for weeks. Especially after we randomly stumbled across TWO of them at a videogame store (they're pretty hard to get by at a reasonable price)! It's really cool and really well made. I hope we can start an awesome collection of figures like this!
I'm trying to read up on it as much as I can (since I'm not a gamer playing the game would take me forever), so I also started reading the book
Always with a nice cup of tea of course :)
The first stage is just a lot of research and sketching, getting familair with the characters and various objects from the game and getting to know their meaning. 
It's a lot of fun to me because everything is so creative and interesting and I keep finding out new things!
Listening to the soundtrack for more inspiration :) and cool artwork on the side of the statue's box.
This is a sketch of what I'd like the top half to look like, but I'm gonna need to do A LOT more test sketches to piece everything together nicely. I'm a little stuck right now to be honest, so I'm just working on other small projects and will get back to it again in a few days. It's going to take a lot more work, but I'm excited!
Is anyone familair with Bioshock? What are your favorite things about it?

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Online Loves: weddings & skulls ♥

Just a few of my favorite things I stumbled across online the past few days...

This girlie grunge skull necklace by Betsey Johnson - *drool*
This wedding at Voodoo Doughnut - so cute and such lovely pictures!

This beautiful video by Honey Maid - I'll admit.. it made me tear up a little bit.

This gorgeous owl tattoo by Annie Frenzel - the glasses, the hearts, the pink! So unique.

This wedding cake by Black Cherry Cake Company - check out their awesome website!

This cover by Alkaline Trio of The Cure's Cut Here - Can't wait to see them again in June!!!