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Today I went out to the market to take pictures for photography class. I had been putting this off for ages, but decided today would be the day.
I didn't take a single picture.All I did was think: 'That would make a good picture!' and then I passed it by without even touching my camera. I really don't understand why I'm so terrified of taking pictures in public when I'm by myself. In my head people will throw things at me and yell at me when I take their picture. Or maybe that's just what I would do.
So all I really did was buy some sparkly nailpolish and then rushed home to paint my nails a sparkly lavender and feel shitty about not taking any photos.
The funny thing is, I don't think I'd have this problem if someone would come with me. I just don't want to go into town by myself these days. I haven't really been bothered by the fact I was alone up until I went back to school again. It makes me unable to do anything. All I do is hang around feeling sorry for myself and checking my phone and computer every 2 minutes.
And now I'm here sitting on the floor drawing myself on a giant German shepherd and eating chocolate sprinkles because I'm trying to cut down my daily sugar intake and banned myself from buying any new sugary goodness for now. Don't want to get chubby too on top of everything.
Tonight is a new Doctor Who episode and all I really want is to watch it with my head on your chest. But we both know that's not gonna happen for a long time.
End of my ramblings.
I do that same thing, where I won't take pictures in public when I'm by myself. Also I sometimes have trouble leaving the house...
ReplyDelete@Grace ugh don't even get me started on that. I'll always think of an excuse so I won't have to leave the house. And if I REALLY do have to go then it takes me at least 10 minutes to pluck up the courage and just go outside x.x
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, me too.
ReplyDeleteI don't have as much of a problem with it when my boyfriend is home, but when I'm by myself it's seriously difficult for me to go anywhere...
How long has it been happening to you?
@Grace I think halfway through high school it got worse. And I completely know what you mean with the 'when someone is at home' thing!
ReplyDeleteIt used to help if I had a 'goal', keep the place I would go to in mind, but now even that doesn't help and I just think of excuses why I don't really have to go there even while I'm already on my way. And everytime before I go out the door I have to repeat all the things I'm planning to do out there in the spooky outside world.
I'm determined to work on it though! I actually just went out to try and take pictures again (first with someone, later by myself) and I actually started to enjoy it.
Still I'm sure I'll just end up being a hermit. Kind of sounds fine to me though.