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I'm so sick of being back home and returning to my depressing old self again. I now know what I hate so much here. I fucking hate the rude people who just bump into you or just stand there in the middle of the freaking road and throw dirty faces at you when you almost run over their kids. I hate how everybody only seems to notice my hair and piercing and already think they know what kind of a person I am, just because. How my parents suddenly make me watch old home videos again and whine about how I should grow out my hair and be the old 6-year-old me again, pulling me back into the past just when I finally was able to look at the future. My dad who is secretly not happy about me finding happiness in a far away country and my mum who's only looking forward to being re-united with her boyfriend. I don't know why I think that I'm SUPPOSED to stay here. If I would find some awesome art school or ANYTHING somewhere in America, or England or Scotland even I could just make plans and leave this place that brings me down. The people that I met on my trip, they saw the 'me' that I think I am. They didn't know about who I was before. They saw a (to me) decently pretty girl with a will and a goal, maybe a little rough around the edges and with some tiny little scars, but still willing and capable of doing something and being someone. Everyone around here, they always see the old me. I know they want me to be that person I was a gazillion years ago. I come to face the hard reality that everything and everyone changes and that, once you observe something or someone long enough, it never turns out as good as you thought it would be judging from your first impression.

You are still as amazing though and I'm having such a hard time being so far away from you. I don't know if you read this, if you're able to or you even bother. You're different from everyone around here in the best way possible. It's no fun being 'lonely' somtimes but it's even more shit when you know you don't necessarily have to be. Yet there's nothing you can do about it.

I think I've come to the conclusion I don't want to stay in this country. I know most people don't find the country they live in all that interesting, but I simply hate mine with a passion. It just sucks that it's not easy to check out schools and such from so far away and I don't want to get stuck at some school I don't like in a far away country for years, quit, and end up with no school at all.

Daww. I love my family, still. But it's so damn hard being the youngest sometimes, because all your brothers and sisters keep seeing you as the 'little one', the one who still has the most to learn, while sometimes I'm convinced that's not entirely true. Goddamn.

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I can't believe I'm behind an entire season with Burn Notice. Oh well, got 'till November 11 to catch up. And Mr Donovan isn't that making that not too hard of a job. What is it that makes him so attractive? Is it the smile? Hmmm.. who cares. I love this picture of him, it makes me smiiiile

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This is one of the greatest things I've seen in a while..Made by Eye Candy Creations!
I love how it's strange, a bit morbid even, yet really cute and adorable. Just the way I like it.

****high five*

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This is getting ridiculous. I somehow feel madly in love. It's like my stomach is stuffed with butterflies and I have no idea why. Maybe it's because I've finally been able to watch the Office again and my John Krasinski obsession has returned.. hehe. Or it's because of all the cuteness I've been surrounding myself with the past few days. I'm already loving my room so much ^_^ I have a cherry red wall now and I'm painting angel kitties on my closet. I also got a shitload of fake cherryblossom for decorating and soon I'm going to get some new pillowcases c: oh rainy days.

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I'm on SUCH a Sanrio roll these days. I went to the two shops in New York and it's just.. gotten even worse lol. I came across the Sanrio Doc Martens boots too and was really damn tempted to buy them. But they were so expensive.. and I'm more of a simple sneaker person myself. I'll just let them be eye candy teehee.

Already before I left I had started playing the Hello Kitty Online game. Dangerously addictive, it's become my guilty pleasure because I feel like I shouldn't really be playing it. But screw that. Now, I've re-arranged my room and took down all the random pictures and scraps that were covering my wall and I'm planning on putting up some Sanrio inspired art and painting my wall either a warm red or purple, and I'm even considering magenta.. The colours in my room right now are yellow, lime green and orange and I hate it with a passion. It's been that way for years now and it's about time I'm gonna do something about it.

Re-decorating your room is fun though! I've got no idea where to begin.. but I'm gonna start with new pillow cases and a freshly painted wall and maybe I'll find some other fun stuff while shopping tomorrow. I had my cousins living in my room for the past 3 months so it didn't feel like my room anymore AT ALL when I came back home, so doing this feels good c:
Now. Lets post some inspiring stuff for the re-decorating!

Above bed is actually my bed (Mine is black though, and this isn't my room!).
I've already seen so many people who have it but I still love it so much ^_^

I can't wait to go and get some stuff tomorrow! My jet lag is being a bitch though. I didn't think basically skipping a night would affect me so much but I actually got sick :c no fun.

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I need this shirt. Will order once I get back home.

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Lol I remember hearing this on the tv while I was in my room in Glen Burnie. I was like 'omg!' and then realised how much I had missed watching tv. I hadn't watched for like.. 1,5 month.

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Hi thur! It's been a while. I really do miss blogging and browsing through endless pages of other blogs for inspiration.. Doing it again right now is making me so happy! My trip is almost coming to an end. I am in Baltimore right now for the 3rd time. I love this city so much, it's insane. I do find it a shame that I most likely won't be around for Halloween.. and that I'll miss out the Charm City Roller Girls event. Talking about that, I want some of their merch really bad! Gotta love the logo.

One of the greatest things in Baltimore i.m.o is the American Visionary Art Museum. If you ever happen to be around here be sure to go over there. My favourite museum EVER by far. It's so quirky and crazy and inspiring!
My whole trip has been such an amazing experience. It took a while for me to realise all the (new) stuff I've done and seen and experienced. Travelling for such a long time makes you forget about a lot of things.. But luckily I've been keeping a scrapbook kind of thing in the meantime! Once I get home I'll be sure to scan some pages and put them up here if anybody cares!

Tonight I'm going to Enter Shikariiii. Second time this year. But I found out they were playing here so there's no way I'm going to let that go past me. Hehe.

Byebye for now!